Divoká Šarka Beer Garden

This was a relaxing afternoon. A twenty minute tram ride out of Prague lies the giant nature reserve (of sorts) Divoká Šarka. Walk behind the Mcdonalds and take a left at the bottom of the ancient stairs that lead to the hiking path and walk. It's about a fifteen minute hike through the woods until you come to this:

A quiet, leafy paradise to relax and enjoy some fantastic Svijany pivo.

There's no waiters so you have to wait in line to get your beer. They had Svijany 11 degree and a 13 degree tmave. The eleven degree was fantastic. A very subtle beer with semi fruity flavor and a delicious toasty aftertaste. This shit was good. I've only had Svijany a handful of times, but this was the best I've had to date.

After that I tried the Rezany (a mix of the pale a dark beers). I wasn't crazy about the dark beer mixed in with the pale. It had a strong taste of iron and not much of the caramel coffee flavor I usually enjoy. The dark may have been better by itself, but I highly doubt it. It was very "meh". I wouldn't bother with it again.

They also have some of the usual pub food (klobasa, etc) but I didn't try any of it because I'm poor. I believe the klobasa was homemade though, which is always a nice touch.

To sum up:

The most relaxing place to drink I can think of for drinking beer. I will return to this garden again (hopefully sooner rather than later). Even if you're a lazy motherfucker like me, it's worth the effort to get here.

Beer:

Svijany 11 - 22Kc

Tamve - 24Kc

Food:

Pub food

Final Rating:

Go There Now!!!!!

U Hrocha

I don't know if it's the location in Mala Strana under the castle, the unassuming entrance way, or if it's because they have the best Pilsner in the city, but I love this pub.

The outside wall of the pub is gray with black lettering, nothing fancy by any means. You must go down a short hallway to enter the pub. Upon entering the pub you feel like you've walked back in time. From the ancient tables and chairs to the shiny brass taps THIS is a true Czech pub. You'll find it filled with old Czech men drinking beer from afternoon to close. You can grab a window seat and watch the less knowledgeable tourists float by. The atmosphere doesn't get much better than this.

The waitstaff appears to consist of an extremely friendly bartender and a single cook. If it's evening you may find two bartenders. You feel at home as soon as you sit down. They have wine, but if you're a male you will have a beer in front of you within seconds.

Regarding food, they have the usual pub fare (pickled cheese, klobasa, etc), but it looked excellent. Although, this isn't a pub you go to for dinner, this is a pub you go to for beer and god damn is it good. They have Tank Pilsner Urquell (known simply as pilsner). Pilsner tastes different all over the city and this pub has the best I've tasted (and I've tasted a LOT). It has a bitter start and a sweet finish. Just try it.


To sum up: It's a miracle this place isn't overrun with tourists. Get here while you still can.


Beer:
Pilsner (tank) -31Kc

Food:
Pub food

Final Rating:
GO THERE NOW!

Geritraic Panera PT. II

I am back at Panera. I got tea this time, it's much better. So I sit here NOT sippin on ass juice, but bored. Let's see....
-Work still sucks
-Family day today
-Best of all Mandy and I got accepted into a great school in Prague. Woooo!
-This post is boring as shit

I always post when I have literally nothing to say. Lots of old ass motherfuckers still puttering around. A book club full of old ladies is sitting at the table next to me. That should be an official term, book club. It could completely replace the word group when referring to old people.
"Hey, look at that book club of old farts over there"

Well......until next time.....uhhhhhhh......


Look how much fun they are!

Lunch at work

I'm currently sitting in the hell-hole that is the Ross School of Business eating shitty mashed potatoes and fish, crusted in potatoes shavings or something. It sucks.

Why is it so hard for a cafeteria to make a decent fucking meal? The one I toil away in is expensive as all hell and it still blows. I'm not asking for fois grais, just give me a solid meal man. ugh.

I have two minutes to finish any thoughts I may have.

Ummmm I hate being at work and I just got over being sick. I re-read the madlibs below and still laughed really hard. I'm incredibly mature. Ryan, if you ever see this, you're really god damn annoying. I miss the old Ryan....dick.

One minute.

I don't really have anything else to say. I have like three hours left. Jesus that's depressing. I hope something awesome happens. Well....

Zero minutes

Sean

Mad Libs

Sick Note Dear School Nurse: AIDS mcguffin will not be attending school today. He/she has come down with a case of AIDS and has horrible buttholes and a/an poopy fever. We have made an appointment with the black Dr. rape, who studied for many years in hell and has 69 degrees in pediatrics. He will send you all the information you need. Thank you! Sincerely Mrs. gay.

My Dream Man My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very fugly and surly. He should have a physique like angelina jolie, a profile like fred savage, and the intelligence of a/an kitten. He must be polite and must always remember to poops my naan, to tip his vagina and to take my butthole when crossing the street. He should move toridly, have a/an sleepy voice, and should always dress rapaciously. I would also like him to be a/an sexy dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper poopy nothings into my titties and hold my fat kimchee. I know a/an bird is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is vaclav

Life, Love, and Randy (Newman)

This paragraph is for the sole purpose of declaring my love for someone. Reading the title may have clued you in to what I'm going to say. Here it goes; I Love Randy Newman!! I think he is a musical genius and sexual icon. I mean look at him:

He looks like Gene Simmons and the joker from batman fucked and had a butt baby, which is incredibly sexy.

Alright, I'm done with that Randy paragraph. Shit's impressive, I know. Moving on...

One thing that is interesting about my apartment is the bathroom is TINY and the window is sealed shut (thanks Dan of danshouses). There is also a heater RIGHT next to the toilet making it unbearable to take long shits. So one thing led to another and now I shit with the door open which is both a positive and negative. It's a positive because it's much cooler and I get to play with the cats when they come see me. The negative is that my fiancee has to watch me shit and I have to shit while someone watches.

Now I've never been much for public shitting. I can't pee in the urinal and I am deathly afraid of farting and people recognizing my shoes after I leave the stall. I know that I look at peoples shoes and when I leave I search for them, ESPECIALLY if they fart really loud. These are real fears for me. That being said...shitting with the door open aint bad.

Geriatric Panera

   A couple saturdays a month Mandy has to work in Livonia and I tag along and sit in Panera. I really don't know why the hell I come here. The coffee tastes like shit juice and the place is filled with people who are so close to death I'm pretty sure there's a coroner  on standby.  Actually I do know why I come here, it has free wi-fi. Shit ass slow bullshit wi-fi, but wi-fi nonetheless. 

   So I sit here sippin on shit juice, dicking around on the internet, and making mental bets with myself on who's going to die first while Mandy deals with retards at the SoS.  For some reason I find this entertaining.  I think I may be a glutton for punishment.  At least it gets me out of the house.  

   There's a british lady sitting near me that says "yeah" about every other word. It's slowly driving me insane. She sounds like a british Mickey Mouse and all I fuckin hear is

 British bitch-  "yeh yeh yeh uh huh I want a shepards pie yeh yeh yehhhhh"

   

 British bitchs companion- "I knowwwwwwwww right?"

    

British bitch- "yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yehyehyehyheyhyehyheyhyehyehyeh"

She's one agreeable motherfucker. 

  A child just fell in the parking lot. That was kind of funny. I'm going to go look at beer in the supermarket next door and pretend I'm drinking it.

only 4 more months only 4 more months.

I love you all,

Sean and a boatload of old fucks

   

Drinking High Life in the Shower

For some reason I seem to have an affinity for drinking beer in the shower.  The shower water and beer getting all mixed in together while I lather up my hot bod. It just feels right.  Super fucking right. Faggot.  High Life Fo My Lyfe. 

This saturday Mandy and I made pierogi and borscht for dinner and of course managed to get hammered at 1 in the afternoon while preparing the meal. It turned out surprisingly well considering.  I then showered, drank more beer, and promptly took a long nap. It was a wonderful day. 

Seems like most of my days lately end up consisting of waking up, watching some sort of Gordon Ramsay related program, going to to work, coming home, drunk, enjoy evening, and finally sleep. Not that I'm really complaining, it isn't a bad life and it could be a lot fucking worse.  Although wedding and Prague couldn't come soon enough.

Did I mention I'm moving to Prague?

I'm moving to Prague. Faggots.

This blog sucks. I shouldn't publish this, but my mouse threatened me with rape if I don't.

uhhhhhh....lata....

Sean

P.S-GeDYy Leez so TIGHT! love Václav da cat. 69696969

Boring Photos for a Boring Blog

    This blog is boring as shit so I decided to spice it up with some boring pictures that I've taken.  Post a picture, tell a story about the picture, bore the be-jesus out of the reader.  So without further ado.....

    The lovely photo that has sidled up next to this block of text was taken in Heidelberg, Germany.  In February of 2008 me and my now fiancee Mandy took a trip to Germany/Czech Republic. We spent a few days in Germany and took a bus to the Czech Republic on a whim (we had originally planned to go to Poland, but a woman decided to splatter herself on the front of our train en route to the airport). 

   The picture itself was taken at about 5:30 in the morning because we thought we got free croissants and a hot drink.  We were mistaken. Needless to say we weren't thrilled about getting up at that hour and not getting free food, but it was worth it for the pictures. A bustling downtown is the usual for Heidelberg, but no one was to be seen.  There is a collection of the sleepy fog filled pictures on my Flickr account found here:

Http://flickr.com/photos/pragnci

.

    

     

Sarah Palin is just Adorable!

I actually listened to the vice presidential debate last night ,because as always I am politically savvy.  Joe Biden was pretty much what I thought he would be, I agreed with him on most points, much like Joe I also like going to home depot. 

Sarah Palin was.....interesting.  She "exceeded expectations" by most counts and I would agree with that assertion, although, I think most of us were expecting her to freeze/throw up/pass out upon shaking Bidens hand. She did none of those things, but did manage to use the term "maverick" about a thousand fucking times.

In short she managed to talk. She talktalktalktalktalked, unfortunately she answered very little, got most of her facts wrong, and sounded like a redneck from the U.P.....that's not a good thing for me.

I was going to point out everything that was wrong with what she said, but these news outlets did it for me (and better than I would have). The links are at the bottom of the page. 

I think the fact check clearly shows that Palin just didn't know the facts and Biden knew exactly what he was saying, just skewing the truth slightly.

My favorite mistake of Palins was calling General McKiernan "General McClellan". She was about 150 years off, McClellan was a General in the Civil War. At least she named a general I guess....

One thing I really disliked was them trying to out do each other by talking about their down home childhoods. I can't believe people buy into that bullshit.  Somehow Palin saying "hockeymommaverickjoesixpackmaverickmaverickenergywashingtonoutsidermaverick" results in some people decided "yes....yes.......YES!!!!! That is exactly me in every way!! SHE KNOWS WHAT I NEED!!!!!!"

It cracks me up to see the middle class/lowerclass people that have McCain signs in their yard. 

I guess in all this bullshit, I'm not going to change anyones mind and no ones going to change my mind. It's stupid to try. So the point of this blog is.......well there isn't one. I just don't like Palin or republican views in general and wanted to share it. It's all bullshit. Dis Janky. U Janky.

*EDIT* All the links I linked got deleted. Fuck it, find them yourself.

Uhhhhhhh...

I'm beginning to become concerned that every African American person I see is Tyler Perry.

America You a Faggot

     The olympics. The ultimate contest of athleticism,endurance, and douchebaggery.  The epitome of sporting achievements  watched by nearly everyone in the world.

    For some reason Americans freak the fuck out over the olympics. Sports that no one in America give a shit about normally (swimming) talk, eat, breath, shit,  fuck, and fart that sport every second they can for the duration of the olympics.  If I brought up swimming at a non olympic year dinner party someone would beat me with a football wrapped up in an american flag embroidered with a picture of Tom Brady high fiving Jesus.  

     The American media doesn't help this sickness. They latch onto these fucking stories and won't let go (Micheal Phelps anyone?). The saddest is the medal count. Check on any American news outlet and low and behold America is numero uno (get it?? It's in spanish! I'm topical...they're stealin our jobs).  After looking at Americas news, look at every other news site in the world. China is number one. Since the dawn of news media the rankings in the olympics has been based on gold medals, but the second America is number two,BAM, it's based on total medal count. Everyone knows the silver and bronze don't mean shit. 

I can't watch porn without hearing about Micheal Phelps.

          I honestly don't know how it is in other countries regarding the olympics. America seems to blow anything like this out of proportion. Any kind of contest gets our stars and stripes dick hard and all of a sudden you start hearing the word dominate in everyday conversation.  We're like the asshole on the playground thats bigger than everyone because he failed a couple grades, but still has friends because he'll kick their ass if they have an independent thought. Hell he might still kick their ass regardless of friendship status or thoughts.  

    At least when the olympics are over everything will go back to normal. I'm looking forward to it?

With Six You Get Eggroll!!!

I did it. I've done the impossible. I've completed something that I never thought I would be able to do.   I've conquered the mighty task of finding a place to live. 

Jesus Christ was it a bitch. It took me 3 months of searching, scrounging, and other things I'm not very proud of to dig out a decent apartment.  Wading through the shit river managment companies try to drown you in is a difficult trip. Here's a short list of things I hate about looking for housing:

1)Every apartment/house has a move in fee/security deposit* of astounding proportions. 

     The apartment I decided to get has a security deposit* of over a grand. Tha' fuck am I going to do to that place that would constitute charging me such a large sum of money? Just shit all over and break things for 6 months? No...I'm not currently planning on doing that.

     They should base the security deposit* on whether you look like a jackass or not.  Simple as that. Some jerkoff waltzes in wearing camo cargo shorts, flip flops, a sideways Detroit hat and thirteen collared shirts with popped collars? His security deposit will be astronomical. I'd say one thousand for every collar.

2)Craigslist

     Fucking craigslist.  The layout of the  pages makes my eyes bleed after looking at it for an hour, It's riddled with spam and rapists, there's also bad grammar, assholes, and rapists...did I mention rapists? Seriously I am led to believe there's a lot of rapists on there. 

3)Deals

     Companies offer "deals" like "FIRST MONTH FREE!!", but the thing they don't mention is once again the SECURITY DEPOSIT*. Who gives a shit if the first month is free when you still have to pay two thousand dollars to move in anyway.  Less Money Mo' Problems as they say.

4)Craigslist Again

   Fo real, fuck craig and his stupid list. 

     I could probably go on for much longer about everything I dislike about finding housing, but I'll stop because:

A) I'm bored

B)Divinals "When I think about you I touch myself" came on Hype Machine and I need to enjoy it to the fullest.

     

This post sucks.

*I realize you get the security deposit back, but it's still bullshit. I don't want you commonsense, get tha' fuck outta here with that.

I'm not homeless

No, this blog will not be about the homeless. They may be great people, but I don't want to fucking "blog" about them. You do it. Ass.