Life, Love, and Randy (Newman)

This paragraph is for the sole purpose of declaring my love for someone. Reading the title may have clued you in to what I'm going to say. Here it goes; I Love Randy Newman!! I think he is a musical genius and sexual icon. I mean look at him:

He looks like Gene Simmons and the joker from batman fucked and had a butt baby, which is incredibly sexy.

Alright, I'm done with that Randy paragraph. Shit's impressive, I know. Moving on...

One thing that is interesting about my apartment is the bathroom is TINY and the window is sealed shut (thanks Dan of danshouses). There is also a heater RIGHT next to the toilet making it unbearable to take long shits. So one thing led to another and now I shit with the door open which is both a positive and negative. It's a positive because it's much cooler and I get to play with the cats when they come see me. The negative is that my fiancee has to watch me shit and I have to shit while someone watches.

Now I've never been much for public shitting. I can't pee in the urinal and I am deathly afraid of farting and people recognizing my shoes after I leave the stall. I know that I look at peoples shoes and when I leave I search for them, ESPECIALLY if they fart really loud. These are real fears for me. That being said...shitting with the door open aint bad.