Geritraic Panera PT. II

I am back at Panera. I got tea this time, it's much better. So I sit here NOT sippin on ass juice, but bored. Let's see....
-Work still sucks
-Family day today
-Best of all Mandy and I got accepted into a great school in Prague. Woooo!
-This post is boring as shit

I always post when I have literally nothing to say. Lots of old ass motherfuckers still puttering around. A book club full of old ladies is sitting at the table next to me. That should be an official term, book club. It could completely replace the word group when referring to old people.
"Hey, look at that book club of old farts over there"

Well......until next time.....uhhhhhhh......


Look how much fun they are!

Lunch at work

I'm currently sitting in the hell-hole that is the Ross School of Business eating shitty mashed potatoes and fish, crusted in potatoes shavings or something. It sucks.

Why is it so hard for a cafeteria to make a decent fucking meal? The one I toil away in is expensive as all hell and it still blows. I'm not asking for fois grais, just give me a solid meal man. ugh.

I have two minutes to finish any thoughts I may have.

Ummmm I hate being at work and I just got over being sick. I re-read the madlibs below and still laughed really hard. I'm incredibly mature. Ryan, if you ever see this, you're really god damn annoying. I miss the old Ryan....dick.

One minute.

I don't really have anything else to say. I have like three hours left. Jesus that's depressing. I hope something awesome happens. Well....

Zero minutes

Sean

Mad Libs

Sick Note Dear School Nurse: AIDS mcguffin will not be attending school today. He/she has come down with a case of AIDS and has horrible buttholes and a/an poopy fever. We have made an appointment with the black Dr. rape, who studied for many years in hell and has 69 degrees in pediatrics. He will send you all the information you need. Thank you! Sincerely Mrs. gay.

My Dream Man My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very fugly and surly. He should have a physique like angelina jolie, a profile like fred savage, and the intelligence of a/an kitten. He must be polite and must always remember to poops my naan, to tip his vagina and to take my butthole when crossing the street. He should move toridly, have a/an sleepy voice, and should always dress rapaciously. I would also like him to be a/an sexy dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper poopy nothings into my titties and hold my fat kimchee. I know a/an bird is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is vaclav

Life, Love, and Randy (Newman)

This paragraph is for the sole purpose of declaring my love for someone. Reading the title may have clued you in to what I'm going to say. Here it goes; I Love Randy Newman!! I think he is a musical genius and sexual icon. I mean look at him:

He looks like Gene Simmons and the joker from batman fucked and had a butt baby, which is incredibly sexy.

Alright, I'm done with that Randy paragraph. Shit's impressive, I know. Moving on...

One thing that is interesting about my apartment is the bathroom is TINY and the window is sealed shut (thanks Dan of danshouses). There is also a heater RIGHT next to the toilet making it unbearable to take long shits. So one thing led to another and now I shit with the door open which is both a positive and negative. It's a positive because it's much cooler and I get to play with the cats when they come see me. The negative is that my fiancee has to watch me shit and I have to shit while someone watches.

Now I've never been much for public shitting. I can't pee in the urinal and I am deathly afraid of farting and people recognizing my shoes after I leave the stall. I know that I look at peoples shoes and when I leave I search for them, ESPECIALLY if they fart really loud. These are real fears for me. That being said...shitting with the door open aint bad.

Geriatric Panera

   A couple saturdays a month Mandy has to work in Livonia and I tag along and sit in Panera. I really don't know why the hell I come here. The coffee tastes like shit juice and the place is filled with people who are so close to death I'm pretty sure there's a coroner  on standby.  Actually I do know why I come here, it has free wi-fi. Shit ass slow bullshit wi-fi, but wi-fi nonetheless. 

   So I sit here sippin on shit juice, dicking around on the internet, and making mental bets with myself on who's going to die first while Mandy deals with retards at the SoS.  For some reason I find this entertaining.  I think I may be a glutton for punishment.  At least it gets me out of the house.  

   There's a british lady sitting near me that says "yeah" about every other word. It's slowly driving me insane. She sounds like a british Mickey Mouse and all I fuckin hear is

 British bitch-  "yeh yeh yeh uh huh I want a shepards pie yeh yeh yehhhhh"

   

 British bitchs companion- "I knowwwwwwwww right?"

    

British bitch- "yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yehyehyehyheyhyehyheyhyehyehyeh"

She's one agreeable motherfucker. 

  A child just fell in the parking lot. That was kind of funny. I'm going to go look at beer in the supermarket next door and pretend I'm drinking it.

only 4 more months only 4 more months.

I love you all,

Sean and a boatload of old fucks

   

Drinking High Life in the Shower

For some reason I seem to have an affinity for drinking beer in the shower.  The shower water and beer getting all mixed in together while I lather up my hot bod. It just feels right.  Super fucking right. Faggot.  High Life Fo My Lyfe. 

This saturday Mandy and I made pierogi and borscht for dinner and of course managed to get hammered at 1 in the afternoon while preparing the meal. It turned out surprisingly well considering.  I then showered, drank more beer, and promptly took a long nap. It was a wonderful day. 

Seems like most of my days lately end up consisting of waking up, watching some sort of Gordon Ramsay related program, going to to work, coming home, drunk, enjoy evening, and finally sleep. Not that I'm really complaining, it isn't a bad life and it could be a lot fucking worse.  Although wedding and Prague couldn't come soon enough.

Did I mention I'm moving to Prague?

I'm moving to Prague. Faggots.

This blog sucks. I shouldn't publish this, but my mouse threatened me with rape if I don't.

uhhhhhh....lata....

Sean

P.S-GeDYy Leez so TIGHT! love Václav da cat. 69696969